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Wow--it is crazy how much time can fly and I haven't blogged a thing! Not that life is all that exciting here, but I do have lots of little and big stories that I have been meaning to blog about--some of them for months. It is just like all the other things that have piled up in the last 9 months. I just don't have the time or energy to do it! So many people ask me how Steven is doing, and I never quite know what they want to know. Physically? He's feeling great. He still has the runny nose that he has dealt with since chemo first started. I'm a little worried it will never go away. He is so much stronger and has much more endurance. His eyebrows and eyelashes are starting to grow in. That added to his pink color makes him look really good. He is still far away from walking. I will have to post more on that later, but he is making progress and it is coming along much faster now that he is off the chemo. Sometimes I wonder if they are asking about the emotional side of i...

It's a happy day here--all of Steven's scans were clear. We had a long day that frankly just feels overwhelming to document. Here are all the appointments we had today: prosthetist, orthopedic surgeon, audiologist, nuclear medicine (bone scan), ct scan, xray, and hem/onc clinic. We started at 9 and finish around 4, with about an hour break for lunch. It was a big day full of questions and answers and worries. Happily, in the end we had good news that all is well for Steven. He will get his port out next week sometime and then get scanned every three months for a while. He was really worried about his audiogram, but he did pretty well. He definitely has hearing loss, but not enough to need hearing aides. That could still change, but we'll cross that bridge if we get there.

Tomorrow is the big day of the scans and I am nervous. The chances of Steven having cancer after just finishing chemo seem to be almost impossible. But if it were impossible, the docs wouldn't scan him and expose him to more radiation, so clearly it could happen. It seems so unlikely, but if he did have cancer, it would be very bad. So maybe that is why I can't relax tonight. Steven had a fabulous time in Yellowstone. I will post some pictures and details about that soon. The weather cooperated for the most part and so did the little kids. Steven had the most energy of all of us--not wanting to miss a thing. By the end, most of the kids were done with geysers, but not Steven--he was interested until the very end. He was happier than we had seen him since this started--totally in his element. I had to keep that in mind so that I could handle the trip--I was getting grumpy by the end. I had to remind myself that this was Steven's trip to make up for so many los...

Steven's labs look great--his blood counts are all within normal ranges for the first time since he started chemo. It shouldn't surprise me so much--he really has seemed liked a whole different kid the last few days. So I guess the trip is on--and I won't even have to worry about things like altitude sickness or bleeding accidents--and likely not even fevers. Keep your fingers crossed that the worst of our problems will be kids that are tired of the car or cold--I think I can handle that.

Steven is feeling better every day--which is a huge relief. Last week I was pretty worried that cancer had taken away my sweet boy and left an ornery one in his place. You would think I would have remembered something I've learned over and over again as a parent of four kids--there is usually a good medical reason behind extreme crabbiness. I don't exactly know Steven's reason, but I do know he has had many reasons to not feel well. At any rate, he is getting used to school and we are getting into some better routines to get his physical therapy done. His favorite new therapy tool is a wii fit. He has to stand on a board and try to balance his weight between both legs--much more fun than trying to make the needle on the scale go up. I just took this picture. He loves the new hat I bought him him for our Yellowstone trip this weekend. That's right--we are going to attempt Yellowstone. I have some hesitations--like that the high is going to be in the 40s, for instance. Bu...

This is by far the most frequently asked question around here, so I thought I would take a minute to answer it the best I can. The next step for Steven is that he will have all the scans and tests he has ever had. They will check for any signs of cancer (heaven forbid--that would be bad news indeed, but it is very unlikely since he just finished his chemo treatments.) They check for that with a bone scan, an Xray and a CT scan. They will do an echocardiogram to test his heart function. As I've mentioned before, the Doxorubicin chemo he had can cause heart problems--immediately or years down the road. His heart function will be tested yearly for the rest of his life. He will also have his hearing tested and for the next few weeks will have his blood monitered through regular lab draws. Once he passes all the cancer tests and his bone marrow has recovered (that is what they are checking with the blood draws), they will schedule a sugery for him to get his port removed. The sc...

Life has come at me fast, that is for sure. I am trying to take it slow, but because I have put off so many things for so long, it is really hard to do. Steven has been at school all week, with the exception of a PT appointment. He seems totally exhausted. I can blog more about that later, but for now, here are some pictures from the party on Monday. (I only took a few and most were out of focus, oh well.) It was a huge success--most of the kids in Steven's class came, many of them with their families. Rob and I both come from big families and most of our siblings and neices and nephews were there, plus many of our other friends came. There was no exact head count, but we went through 100 hamburgers and 120 hot dogs. It was great to see so many people come and support Steven. I only wish I could have visited longer with everyone! Thanks to my awesome brother-in-law and his mom for grilling for almost two straight hours! Here is Steven with a couple of friends from school....

Steven's last few days at the hospital were fairly eventful. He had lots of visitors--two of the visitors he had been looking forward to for a while. First of all, his cousin James had long wanted to skip a little school to come and "babysit" Steven in the hospital. On Friday he got his wish while Alisa and I headed off to do a bit of shopping. On Friday night, my brother, Matt, came and had a sleep over and let Rob and I off the hook. They stayed up late playing board games and video games and eating pizza. My brother, Mike, showed up for the party, too. Steven was in heaven. Saturday morning was a big day--DISCHARGE! First, the nurses all sang to him "Happy Last Chemo!" Then it was time to ring the bell. Steven rang it and truly it brought tears to our eyes. One of these days, if I can muster up the energy, I'll post the video of him ringing it. Goodbye hospital! I know we will be back, but hopefully not for any more chemotherapy. I have a lot on my mind a...

I'll post more later, but thought I'd give an update: Steven cleared his methotrexate this morning and we came home around lunchtime. Yipee!

Top 10 things I will not miss about the hospital: 10. The cafeteria smells, especially in the morning 9. The parent shower 8. Super frequent packing and unpacking 7. Constant hand sanitizing 6. The parent "bed" 5. Fear of hospital germs 4. Nurse interrupted nights 3. Hearing babies cry down the hall or code blues on the PA system 2. Being apart from the rest of my family 1. Watching Steven feel miserable Top 10 things I will miss about going to the hospital: 10. The beautiful views from the windows 9. Housekeeping! 8. Lots of time to think or read or waste time on the internet 7. Unlimited pebbled ice 6. Room service! 5. Pastry deliveries from my dad 4. Meeting and visiting with parents who are in similar situations 3. Spending time with Steven, a captive audience 2. The feeling we are actively killing cancer cells 1. The wonderful doctors, nurses and staff that have taken care of Steven so well

For Steven's last round of chemo, the pump says it all for me: By chance did you hear my big sigh of relief coming from the hospital last night? So far, Steven's last round of chemo has gone smoothly. Although he felt nauseated, he didn't even throw up this time around, which is unusual for him. We are feeling so happy that this is it for him. He'll be at the hospital until his blood clears the chemo, which will hopefully happen sometime Saturday.

At 4:00 this afternoon, I finally got Steven's lab results and confirmation that he is indeed going in tomorrow for round 18 of chemo--his very last round! I spent the day motivating Steven to do homework and physical therapy, doing laundry and dishes, etc. I kept debating with myself about whether or not to pack. I have some sort of superstition that if I pack, he'll get delayed. So here it is, 10:30, and I still haven't packed. I started on my child care plans about an hour ago. But just as I heard the great news, Andrew got home from school and it was pumpkin painting time. Someone left us a fun surprise on our doorstep last night including pumpkins for each of us and paint and although Laura wanted to paint them when she woke up, I made her wait until Drew came home from school. So instead of packing, we painted. And after that and dinner, we headed to the library. I can hardly believe I am almost to the point where I can put the suitcases away and be done with...

Some nights as I fall asleep, I think of all the blog posts that I haven't mustered the energy to write. I tell myself, one of these weeks, I'm going to do a marathon and catch up with all the things I need to write down, mostly for my own memories. Here is a post I've been meaning to put up for a while now. Some of you may know that my family puts on a film festival every year around Labor day. Lots of the videos are funny, but our entry this year was not very humorous. We just had to do a cancer video--afterall, cancer is defining us these days. We decided to have the kids narrate a documentary of our year. We had over two hours of footage that we edited down to this. (And when I say we, I mean Rob.) It didn't turn out exactly as I had envisioned it--but here it is.