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I am happy to say that Steven's scans were clean today! He had a blood test, a chest CT scan and an Xray. All looked normal (okay, the Xray has some crazy new bone growth, but no sign of a tumor). The CT machine said, "Take a breath in and hold it. [pause] You can breathe normally again." That is exactly how I felt when Steven's oncologist told us the scans were normal. The sun was shining as we left the hospital and I couldn't help but feel very hopeful. I think one of the hardest things about this is how it just feels so beyond my control and so unpredictable. What a lesson in walking by faith. But hooray! He gets to go on his fieldtrip tomorrow and is back at school this afternoon! That is a happy day.

I realize that I haven't been as diligent at blogging lately. I have noticed that because people who keep close tabs on the blog keep asking me things that I could easily blog about. So here are a few answers: Q: When will Steven hear about his Make-A-Wish trip? A: This is a question that Steven frequently asks me--probably about seven times a day. I don't know the answer. I will say that he changed his request afterall. One evening we were talking about Hawaii and out of the blue, Steven decided that Hawaii is what he really wants to do (ah, the fickleness of youth). Rob came into the room and caught the jist of our conversation and then asked if he had seen the news about the wrecked cruise ship. We hadn't heard about it, but once we did, Steven was even more certain that the Hawaii trip was for him. He needed to write a different letter and that letter was reviewed by the board on the 25th of January. If they don't approve that, his backup wish is for a regular cruis...

So a few weeks ago, I was asked to speak at the adult session of our Stake conference. The topic was "how the gospel has helped you through your trials." I'm not usually too scared about speaking assignments, but for some reason this one had me worried. I didn't think I could do it without crying. And a few days after I said "yes," we learned about my sister's cancer. Anyway, I decided to read it almost word for word and not mention Alisa and I prayed really hard that I wouldn't cry. And even though I couldn't practice it without crying hard, I pretty much made it through the talk without tears. A little miracle, I assure you. It's a little long--the assignment was for 10 minutes. But here it is if you are interested: The topic I was given tonight is how the gospel has helped me though my trials. For those of you who haven't heard our story, I will start with that and then share just a few of the ways the gospel has helped me ...

If I haven't officially declared my passionate dislike of cancer, let it officially be known. It is a complicated feeling because yes, I realize that there are worse things and yes, there is a lot of growth that comes from suffering. I am just tired of watching people I love go through this kind of refining. If you haven't heard, my little sister, Alisa, had scans this week which revealed cancer in numerous places, including her liver and bones. Thankfully it is not in her brain and thankfully there are several treatment options for stage IV melanoma that she can try, all of which offer some hope. There is a link to her blog on my sidebar if you want more details. I don't really have anything insightful to say and I even feel at a loss for words and action when it comes to her. She has been so proactive this last year, always doing, saying, or organizing exactly what we need. And then when it is her turn I, who am the only family member with firsthand cancer experi...

Tuesday (Steven's birthday) came and went so quickly. We started out with an appointment with Dr. Jones at 8am. The xrays looked great--even I could see the new growth and Dr. Jones had his assistant take Steven's cast off and ordered a splint to be made for him. He wants us to be able to work with Steven's foot to get it more flexible and strong and ready to use with his prosthetic. During the whole appointment, Steven was really worried that he was going to be late for school, he especially didn't want to miss P.E. :) Here are some of the promised Xray pictures. This first one was taken on December 14th. My camera doesn't do it justice, so you may have to click on it and look at it prettly closely to see why I was alarmed when I saw it. This is the same position on Tuesday, a month after the first was taken. Can you see the new growth at the fracture? The splint order turned out to be a little more complicated than Dr. Jones anticipated. After a try at t...

This has been a great week for Steven. School has gone really well--on the first day back I asked what he did at recess (he had decided to read a book so he wouldn't worry about falling), and he admitted that he played soccer instead. How you do that with one leg, I don't know, but there you have it. He woke up excited for school every morning and one day I asked him why he was so excited. He said, "Just for school! You never know what kinds of fun things are going to happen!" Turns out, his school days were pretty exciting this week. On Friday, he competed in the school geography bee and won! I have got to get some video for you--it was classic Steven. He was bowing every time the audience clapped--while sitting in his chair. His class was so excited for him--they all ran up after to give him a high five. For sure it was one of those glory moments. He will now take a test to see if he qualifies for the state competition. On Friday afternoon, in a las...

I've been trying to post something for a few days now, but every time I try to think of something profound, it doesn't sound quite right, or quite profound, anyway. I really am looking forward to 2012 this year with some bright hopes. Hopefully we'll see no cancer, hopefully we will find a house that will be right for us, hopefully we'll get to go on a fun Make-a-Wish trip, and hopefully Steven will walk. One thing that happened to me with cancer is that I really started to live in the moment--thinking ahead, even to dinner, was too much. Planning was impossible for me. I think that looking ahead was so uncertain and unknown that it was easier to just think about the present. I started to snap out of this about a month or so after chemo was over--and then Steven broke his leg and I was back into my bad habit. My confidence was a bit damaged and we went back into survival mode. He is doing really well now, and as his foot is healing, so are my hopes. Still, af...