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Showing posts from May, 2015

More to the story

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In the life sketch  I wrote for Alisa's funeral, I mentioned that she was a huge help to our family when Steven first got diagnosed with cancer.  I may have also posted some of these stories, but as I was talking to some of my cousins at the funeral, it seemed they hadn't heard them, and so I thought I'd better write it out all together. Steven was diagnosed with bone cancer on February 16,  2011.  He had been limping and one evening, I noticed his knee was swollen.  The next morning I made an appointment with the pediatrician and picked Steven up from school.  I never in a million years expected to hear he had cancer.  An xray revealed a bone tumor and the doctor broke the news to me gently.  I sat in the waiting room while the office set up appointments for us at the children's hospital.  I was stunned and at this point didn't realize it was cancer.  I did the only thing I could think of, I texted Alisa.  "Steven has a bone tumor....

a few thoughts on grief

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I wrote this back in January and am going to post it as I wrote it then.  Since then, I feel like I have things to add, plus it needs to be edited, but I don't have the energy for that right now, so you get it as is.  If any of you have insights from your life, I'd love to hear about them. January 16, 2015 I was able to spend the evening with Alisa last night. She called me and asked if I would come and help her plan her funeral. I was honored and heartbroken and anxious to help, all these things. You can imagine the thoughts running through my mind. We laughed and cried that night.  I look like I've got a decade of trouble on my mind and she is as gorgeous as ever, even as we talked about life going on after her death.   But this morning I want to write about our conversation about grief. She is so worried about the pain that her death would cause to her family, her boys and Josh especially, but for everyone. We talked about grief a little and she asked me to w...

Alisa--such a life to describe in so few words

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I'm sure most people who look at this blog know that my little sister, Alisa, passed away this week.   She was suffering so much that in there was a bit of relief mixed in with a deep sadness to say goodbye.   I struggle with the question of why she had to get cancer at all.  And why couldn't she have been cured of it? Watching her slip away, I felt like I was facing my worst fear for my own child and in one of my very favorite people.   The past days and weeks have been difficult, but I think the hardest part is ahead of me.  Holidays and family events and most of all the every day when I feel like calling her and chatting about whatever.  She has been a big part of my life and I will miss her dearly. I was asked to give part of her life sketch at her funeral.  Many of you were there, but I'm posting it here for those of you who couldn't make it.  She was a remarkable person and these few words don't even begin to do her great life justice. ...
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Mother's day can be hard for people and for so many reasons.  Today was one of those hard ones for me, because I couldn't get my sister, Alisa, off my mind. I know I haven't been updating much here on my blog lately.  I've been distracted and besides, she updates hers  fairly regularly.  If you have followed her story, you know that since January, things have not been easy for her.  Her cancer is back in force.  Right now she's struggling with the decision to go on hospice. It's been a rough time for me.  She is such a huge part of my life--as she was born 17 months after me, I have no memory of life without her.  And most childhood memories include her.  And we've talked on the phone almost every day since we started having kids.  She coached me through Steven's cancer.  I owe so much of who I am to her and her influence. I have been so touched by all the people who have reached out to help her and to help me.  Yesterday I sen...