Online Chat Room Free Mobile

It's been two months today since Alisa's death.  I still have moments where the reality of it hits me hard.  The other day I felt I had a glimpse of many decades left of my life, all without her.  It took my breath away.  But mostly I can move forward (slowly) and go on with life.  I know I need to spend more time processing and grieving her loss, but I find that life has a way of pulling me along in it's swift current. I've been wanted to post a few pictures from the graveside of Alisa's funeral.  I know we didn't take enough pictures--she was the picture person in the family, and I know we didn't fully capture the full depth of loss or the love that so many showed for her and her family.  I know there are many of you who weren't able to be at the funeral and more that weren't at the graveside service, so here are a few pictures to help you visualize that day and to remember her.     

Steven had scans on Friday and thankfully, they were normal.  As you can see from the picture, the new scanner has a pirate themed makeover.  As we sat there listening to the machine tell Steven when to breath and when to stop breathing,  I couldn't help but think of an amusement park ride and how much scarier this is than anything you could strap me into there.   But in all seriousness, the weeks leading up to Friday have been tough.  I've known anxiety in the past, but this was getting a little out of hand.  If I wasn't careful, my mind would project a dismal future where Steven and I both had cancer, Rob lost his job, we went bankrupt, divorced and I was in a straight jacket in an institution.  Once Rob told me that thoughts like that were the opposite of praying.  I've thought a lot about that and so I started praying instead. The night before the scans, I knelt in prayer and as I was telling God that I really missed Alisa and how much I neede...